Food for Thought: Mommy-Identity Crisis

Recently, I have been suffering a bit of self-identity crisis. It is a heart-wrenching struggle, wrought with guilt and confusion. Have I lost my identity? Or do I just need to find it again? Perhaps it has to be redefined. There has to be more to me that being a mother, right?

In desperate attempts to maintain some semblance of B.C. (Before Children) normalcy in our lives, I know that some stay-at-home moms (including myself) have initiated "side jobs" - either to emulate a bit of the lifestyle we had B.C. or to make some profit out of hobbies. We all had careers B.C., when our (respective) profession was our identity. These days, when people ask me what I do for work, I tell them that I am a stay-at-home mom. Sadly, it's stated with a slight hesitation; as if to say that being a mother wasn't good enough.

Shame on me for thinking that way. But the harsh reality is that being a stay-at-home mom carries a certain unflattering stigma. Yes, I know it's just a perception and I try not to let what others think bother me. Perhaps, in my own little way, I can do something to change that perception.

Here's the bottom-line. There's a reason I'm a mom - I chose to be. So, that's it. What I need to do is to live in the present and enjoy the moments I have with my children. Being their mom is my identity. There's nothing wrong with that. Soon they'll leave the nest and I will have more than ample time to find another identity. :)

The following entry from Life As Mom was the "food for thought" for my this discourse.

People need you when you’re a mom.

And the world would tell you that you’re going to get “lost” in the Mommy Years. That you’ll lose your “sense of identity.” That you must assert yourself and “be somebody.”

But, the reality is that you ARE somebody. You are someone’s shoulder to cry on. You are the lap to sit in. Yes, you are the head of hair to caress. And those days are fleeting.

Here, here!